Death's symphony. / Monday blues.
I was reading through myths, legends and cult believes over at Wikipedia, and realised that there's a certain topic most things revolve around - death.
As a child, I feared of dying, of venturing into the unknown, dark and still silence of the world beyond. Yet I also feared the concept of an end, sure, most people say that living life to the fullest and finally dying, enjoying an eternal slumber would be nice. But personally, I found it to be the most scary and nightmarish concept ever. Just an end, no life, no meaning, no feelings, no nothing. Would that what you want your ending to be? Nothing?
As I grew, I got into religion, and learnt about heaven or hell, gladly enough, it changed my way of thinking, and it gave me a 'happiness' about dying. Being able to meet God in heaven, rejoicing eternal life with my loved ones in paradise, wasn't really a bad idea. Sure enough, this fear was subsided, but then another fear arised - life.
Yes, life. Now that I think about death, sure it would be pretty happy, but what about the people left on earth? The people who were there at your grave, crying their hearts out, the people who've lived with you all these while, and then lose you just like that, what happens to them? Sure they might move on, but isn't it by itself a big blow to their soul? Time heals, yes, but how long? Thinking about this, really made me scared about my life, I'm scared that I'll die and have not tried everything I wanted to try in this life of mine. I'm scared that there's so many things left unsaid, to the people I love, the ones that I care for, and the ones that I adore. It made me realise how life in itself is scary, for you're given the chance to say everything you always wanted to, but never realising how much you'll end up saying before coming to an ending.
I told myself, that life's too short and unpredictable, so whatever I wanna do, do it now, don't regret never doing it, instead regret ever doing it. Cos' life's too short to think about.
As a child, I feared of dying, of venturing into the unknown, dark and still silence of the world beyond. Yet I also feared the concept of an end, sure, most people say that living life to the fullest and finally dying, enjoying an eternal slumber would be nice. But personally, I found it to be the most scary and nightmarish concept ever. Just an end, no life, no meaning, no feelings, no nothing. Would that what you want your ending to be? Nothing?
As I grew, I got into religion, and learnt about heaven or hell, gladly enough, it changed my way of thinking, and it gave me a 'happiness' about dying. Being able to meet God in heaven, rejoicing eternal life with my loved ones in paradise, wasn't really a bad idea. Sure enough, this fear was subsided, but then another fear arised - life.
Yes, life. Now that I think about death, sure it would be pretty happy, but what about the people left on earth? The people who were there at your grave, crying their hearts out, the people who've lived with you all these while, and then lose you just like that, what happens to them? Sure they might move on, but isn't it by itself a big blow to their soul? Time heals, yes, but how long? Thinking about this, really made me scared about my life, I'm scared that I'll die and have not tried everything I wanted to try in this life of mine. I'm scared that there's so many things left unsaid, to the people I love, the ones that I care for, and the ones that I adore. It made me realise how life in itself is scary, for you're given the chance to say everything you always wanted to, but never realising how much you'll end up saying before coming to an ending.
I told myself, that life's too short and unpredictable, so whatever I wanna do, do it now, don't regret never doing it, instead regret ever doing it. Cos' life's too short to think about.
Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. -David Grayson
Today was pretty much alright, except for a few destructive mistakes. Yes, as again, I've screwed up pretty much everything, and now it's back to square one. Sigh, I seriously should think next time. Anyway didn't have breakfast with Shankar and co. because woke up late, so ended up meeting Rohail and the gang at Tmart CC before heading for school. At school, usual things happen, lessons, lessons, sleep, lessons. Then school ended and had lunch with Rachel and co. with Brayton and co., then left for home. Boring? You bet.
PS, I'm seriously seriously sorry for what I did. I know you might not be reading this, but I have to get this off my chest. I shouldn't have touched on such a touchy subject. My sincerest apologies.
TAG REPLIES
Mystigal : Haha, okay.
tian : Yea man! Sucks to be us, but we have to pull our spirits up! :D
Alison : SHAWN!? NO WAY. Sorry la, sudden urge to blog at night. ._.
flies : THANKS! Best of luck to you too!
Shankar : Lulz, k.
posted by EricJK at
6:41 AM
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