Tormented.

I don't get the way I live lately. Looking back, I was the kind of guy who was happy 24/7, happy with himself, and couldn't be bothered about the way the world looks at me.

I was so happy back then, then what happened? Self-conciousness starts to pop up, I judge myself in all my actions, deeming them right or wrong. The fear of being judged by others led me to judge myself even harsher, and ultimately, I killed myself before others could.

I wonder, what happened to the innocence and bliss that used to be there? Did it die out along the way, or was it never there? That all those halcyon days were mere woven lies?

Somehow, right now, it doesn't matter to me anymore, I can't be bothered to find these answers, and by the way things are, I don't think I ever would.