Idealism or satisfaction?

Taken from 'http://www.xgam.org/xenogears/encyclopaedia/index.php?topic=id'

The Ego (Latin word meaning 'I' or 'myself') is the personality of the individual, the part that everybody sees and knows about. The ego is the only part of the mind that anyone has any control over, and it is the only part of the mind that the individual is aware of.

The superego (German for over-me) is the conscience of the mind, an opposite force to the id, residing in the preconscious. It counteracts the selfish orders of the Id, with unselfish angelic thoughts, and thus the individual is balanced. Freud divided the superego into two forces, the conscious which was the unconscious reflection of the parent and responsible for dispensing mental punishments of guilt. And the Ego ideal, the ideal self-concept that is responsible for feelings of pride, and also gives a standard for the individual to live up to.

The Id is the most evil and primitive part of the mind, and has no personality of it’s own but has wishes and demands. It lurks deep down in the unconscious, and can only make it’s demands known to the conscious mind through symbolic dreams. It operates on the pleasure principle, that is, it seeks to obtain pleasure and avoid pain. Unsatisfied demands create tension. So release must be sought either through real solutions or through fantasy. Freud subdivided the Id into two parts. The Thanatos and the Libido. The Thanatos is the part of the mind that is the the death wish, a ball of violence radiating against both society and the individual. The Libido is the sexual desire of the individual found in dreams and feelings of lust.

The world needs a stronger Superego, and a weaker Id.

2008.

Albeit a bit late, at least I'm writing this down. :)

Truthfully, 2008 didn't really start off well. 2007 ended in the train, with my parents, and it would've been much better if it weren't for the fact that they were quarelling. Yeah, it was pretty bad - fine, very bad.

The whole year in a nutshell was a huge rollercoaster ride, I got into a class which was half-filled with people I never knew existed in our school, yet I still made friends with most of them, and really had a blast of a time in 3r2, except for the occasional touching and groping, which I kinda enjoy.. sometimes. The guys and I, too, got closer through the year, amidst all the misunderstandings and quarrels we had, which ultimately bonded our friendship even more, and made us have faith in one another.

Then again, there's family. Throughout the year, Mom's job still showed no signs of her being able to return back to Singapore, and the only time I get to actually spend time with her is when she comes back to Singapore, or when Dad, brother and I visit her in Hongkong. Truly, I miss her, and I really can't imagine what it's like to be alone in a foreign country without your family by your side. I love my mom, she's a strong woman. However, because of the lack of presence of mom in Singapore, I began to get closer to my brother, often asking him for helps and actually talking about stuffs with him. The usual conversations we had that was full of shouting and spouting vulgarities actually turned into a real conversation between brothers about something they both are interested at, and I felt somehow closer to my brother, and I for once, appreciated him for being my brother.

Of course, there's also love. Love, wasn't really such a rollercoaster ride, as it was just downhill for the most part, or maybe for all parts. Digging up what was left months ago, I vowed my heart to a girl, someone who was beautiful, yet not one that was meant for me. I kept trying and trying, but still I fail. It went on like in any drama, waiting for the one you love, until finally she falls for you, until my feelings trembled and even I wasn't assured of my own feelings, towards her, and another two. Suddenly, love just went from being 'pure and innocent' to a whole new level of being complicated.

Then came New Year's Eve, the biggest letdown of a night in a year, and after last year's, I personally was kinda scared at how this year was gonna be. It started off alright, and amazingly, it became better. The countdown began, and fireworks filled the sky, and somehow, to me, time suddenly stood still for a moment, as I glanced around and saw that dad, mom and even brother (freakin' miracle), all their faces filled with happiness, as they await the coming of the new year, and then it struck me that it didn't matter anymore, how to spend the New Year's, I just wanted my family to be happy, and that's all there is to it. And as the countdown timer hit zero, the sky was in a blaze of colours as fireworks went off, people were screaming and shouting, and to not feel left out, we started too, hell, it didn't even matter what we were saying, we were just having one hell of a spectacular night.

And 2008, ended just like that.